by Anonymous Writer, Age 14
As a child when I blew out my sparkly pink birthday candles, out of all the wishes in the world I wished for one thing, friends. You may think I’m crazy for that wish but the sorrow I felt when I saw groups of laughing kids on the playground was unbearable. Every recess when the teachers would dismiss us, kids would disperse into their groups while I was left all alone on the swingset. Those times on the swingset were always the loneliest, stuck in my head while staring off into space. My mom always asked, “Why don’t you get some friends?”
It’s not always that easy to find friends when everytime you walk up to someone you get this terrible ache in your stomach and your mind starts racing. The stutters I let out and the worsening of my tics while I try to talk to someone is just plain embarrassing to me. Not to mention how the conversations come to awkward random stops and pick up again like morse code. I give so much energy for these conversations to happen and I get nothing in return, no friendship. All I’ve ever wanted in my life is a long-lasting friendship yet they all go to waste. They start, stop, and are never to be seen again. They leave like I was nothing to them.
Blowing through friendships like the wind has consequences. I can’t let anybody in, fearing they will just leave me when I’m starting to trust them. I’ve built my walls and they’re strong as steel. With nothing to do I sit in my room, wondering what I could’ve done with my life. What I could’ve done if I hadn’t had all these issues. I can fantasize all I want about what if this, what if that but I need to learn how to live in the moment no matter if friends or not.
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Congratulations to "I Wish" for winning THIRD PLACE in the Written/Audio Category of the 2022 Share Your Story Multimedia Contest!
More by this writer:
"American Dream"
'Growing up I had the strong desire to live the American dream with the white picket fence and the typical happy childhood. I would daydream about me and my friends playing on the playground and giggling about odd topics...'
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