By Thomas Lee, age 17
Introduction
In a society where nearly 4 in 5 people have a fear of public speaking, it comes as no surprise that, for many of us, getting up in front of a podium is something we do only out of necessity. For some individuals, however, this fear translates into every aspect of their social lives, whether that be catching up with a friend or placing an order at a restaurant. If you have social anxiety, then you may have experienced low self-esteem, self-consciousness, and, at times, frustration. Luckily, there are steps you can take to mitigate your fear of being judged. For me, it all boils down to two words: self-care and transparency. It is my hope that by sharing my mental health journey, I can inspire you to treat your mental health with the respect that it deserves.
My Story
Socializing used to give me intense butterflies—and I refused to address it. With a lot already on my plate, I put my social anxiety aside; I swept it under the rug. Pretty soon, school became mentally exhausting. “If only something could offer me a break from school,” I hoped. As if Mother Nature heard my wish, a foreign pathogen appeared in towns all over America, triggering a nationwide lockdown. A deadly virus was not what I had hoped for, but nevertheless, schools shut down, and, after a month of relaxation, I found myself in virtual learning. Despite the sudden change, I quickly grew accustomed to learning from the comfort of my own home. Wave after wave, season after season, I found my stay-at-home lifestyle being extended, giving me ample time to practice self-care. I started running up to 8 miles a day. While running in public spaces made me feel self-conscious, it was never overwhelming. Fortunately, my joy and confidence during exercise made up for my irrational thoughts. I also picked up other hobbies like photography and hiking. Nature had become my best friend.
But it all came at a cost; all this time spent in isolation made talking face-to-face even more of a struggle. Finally, it was announced that the 2021 to 2022 school year would be in-person. I had mixed feelings about returning to school, but deep down, I knew it was necessary to re-adjust to the social environment. I looked ahead and saw turbulent waters. Would I survive the coming deluge?
It wasn't easy, but I stayed on that raft. I pushed the boundaries of my comfort zone, contributing more to class discussions and even taking up leadership roles at my school. And I couldn't have done it without the support of a seasoned mariner—my therapist.
Being quiet is easy. Hiding fears and insecurities behind a calm facade is easy. Yet, it is not easy to hold out against a hurricane within the mind. So, rather than bracing the lashing winds and pounding rain by yourself, look around. Are you really alone?
My meetings with my therapist have empowered me to question my irrational thoughts. While it’s impossible to avoid the occasional squall, it is possible to adopt a calm and open mind, to adopt the ways of the seasoned mariner. Of course, therapists don't have the answers to all our questions; part of overcoming our fears comes from introspection and self-discovery. For me, it comes from journaling and challenging myself little by little, whether that be participating a bit more in English class or asking someone about their weekend in an attempt to learn something new about them. There will be embarrassing moments, but just know that the only failure is thinking that you have failed.
One more piece of advice: everyone grows at their own pace, so live in the present and only compete with yourself. As the saying goes, “Do not compare yourself to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and moon, they shine when it’s their time.” Being able to cope with a mental illness is an accomplishment in itself, and in the end, you will emerge stronger and wiser.
I realize that the grip of mental illness is far more debilitating for some people. If there is one thing I learned, it's that opening up to someone you trust (e.g. a parent, a friend, or a therapist) and practicing self-care (e.g. taking a walk, journaling, and getting enough sleep) are the two most important things you can do for your mental health. Now, the question is: are you willing to prioritize your mental health?
Written with love by Thomas Lee, grade 12.
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